The other day, Microsoft Excel made me cry.
I can't fully blame it on Excel, but it was the straw that broke this camel's back. I'm taking a stats class for what seems like the 5th time in my life and it makes me want to put something sharp through my neck. Being as it's a graduate level stats class, it involves intricate use of Excel - something I never learned how to use. So, as I laid in bed, trying to decipher the many little boxes and functions, I cried.
I cried because I like to pile up a bunch of tiny little stressful things until I reach my breaking point. I cried a "Why did I decide to go to grad school?" cry. I cried a "I need more friends" cry. I cried a "Why doesn't he love me?" cry (I've been watching too many Nora Ephron movies). I cried a "I don't know what to do" cry. I cried a "I've never felt dumb before," cry (this is in reference to the Excel bit). I had myself a big ol' blubbering fest. Life, love, school, mental health, physical health; all of it had built up to the point that it had liquified and was uncontrollably spilling out of my tear ducts.
It felt good. Having a good hard cry felt good. Getting to acknowledge that trivial things can make you feel shitty feels really good. Letting yourself feel like a human when you usually walk around resembling some cold, heartless woman-thing feels good.
So thanks, Excel.